Archive for January, 2007

The Captain Is Livin The Dream Baby, Livin The Dream

Days Until I Am Married:  257

Current Weight:  182 pounds

As you may or may not have noticed, I did not post a blog last weekend.  I had quite the eventful weekend, so I decided to postpone it until today.  In the two weeks that have passed since then, I have lost an additional three pounds.  While it is great to write about losing weight, the actual work involved in losing weight really sucks.  Since Megan is now forced to wake up ass early because of her new job, I decided to wake up at the same time as her and run so we can stay on the same schedule.

Last week I started waking up at 5:30 in the morning during the week to go on a three mile run across the bay.  It sucks getting up before the sun, but the results are great.  This is the only thing I really have to complain about, the rest of my life is fan-fucking-tastic.

I’m really starting to feel like I’m livin’ the dream.  Last weekend, I took the fastest boat at the marina out by myself for the afternoon and did high speed donuts in the bay until my face turned green.  Afterwards, I called a friend of a friend named Jimmy and offered to pick him up for a ride in the boat.  Turns out he lives a couple of miles from the marina on a bayside house that has a dock.  He is the caretaker of a historical bayfront mansion, and lives on the property.  So basically, he’s a guy with a sweet dock but no boat, and I’m a guy with a sweet boat but no dock.  We both agreed that this was going to work out nicely.

The following nite Jimmy picked me up and we attended the first bout of the Bradentucky Bombers, the local girls rollerderby league that just formed.  This was the first live rollerderby event for both of us, and it kicked both of our lame asses.  Not only was the action badass, it was by far the most females under 40 that I’ve seen in the same room since moving to Sarasota.  Jimmy decided to cheer for the nerdy chick team and I predictably cheered for the pirate chick team.  Of course the pirate team won, Go Cutthroat Cuties!  Jimmy is a really cool guy and I am stoked to finally know a single dude to hang out with, let alone one with a frickin’ dock.

Since I am now officially the Captain and it is my year, I kept the pirate theme going this weekend by attending the Gasparilla Festival in Tampa.  Tampa doesn’t really celebrate Mardi Gras, so Gasparilla is basically Tampa’s pirate themed version of Mardi Gras.  Instead of random bar hopping all nite, my buddy Amir was able to score us invites to a private party in a luxury high-rise condo building.  This place was brand new and un-fucking-believable.

The party had a buffet and a fully stocked bar, piles of beads, and even some fine Cuban cigars.  Inside there was a pool table and a DJ, outside there was a heated pool and a fireplace.  I spent the evening drinking Moet and Grey Goose with Tonic and conversing with people who are far richer than I will ever be.  While the nite wasn’t nearly as wild as say the last couple of Mardi Gras in St. Louis (I’m looking at you, Bill, Brian, and Jamie) it was a way classier.  In fact, I think that would be a good way to sum up most of my life in Florida thus far: ¼ as wild, 10 times as classy.  Livin’ the Dream Baby, Livin’ the Dream.

Well, Megan is currently up in Tampa for the evening and I just drank the last of the Bombay Sapphire.  Looks like it’s time to switch to Kettle One and watch Jackass Number 2.


The Captain

The Captain Thinks Mother Nature Has Started Smoking Meth

Days Until I Am Married:  272

Current Weight:  185

So yesterday I get a call from my old roommate Bill in St. Louis.  He proceeds to tell me that he is currently sitting in a house in St. Louis with no power in a freezing rain storm.  I tell him that I am currently smoking a stogie while fishing on a boat with my shirt off.  He correctly informs me that I am an asshole.  I’ve been hearing that a lot lately and I kinda like it.

The weather down here has been spectacular, which is starting to feel a bit strange.  As I sit here writing this, the window in the condo is open and I’m sweating.  I should probably turn on the air conditioning, but it’s getting harder and harder to justify air conditioning in January.  Meanwhile, my home town has been assaulted by freezing rain for the last three days.  The weather in St. Louis actually prevented Megan from flying home for the weekend.  Her Saturday morning flight was canceled on Friday nite, which totally ruined my lay around and scratch myself plans for the weekend.  American Airlines was so scared of the storm headed toward the Midwest that they refunded Megan’s ticket money before the storm actually hit.  All in all, I have come to the conclusion that Mother Nature has started smoking meth.

My week started off with a step in the wrong direction.  Last Monday nite was the big BCS championship game.  For the last 27 years, I wouldn’t have given two shits about this college football game.  Growing up in Missouri completely shielded me from the entire concept of college sports.  People from St. Louis prefer their athletes professional.  However, this year I was forced to give at least half of a shit for two reasons.  First, I live in Florida and they take college football pretty serious down here.  Second, most of my friends down here are diehard Ohio State fans.  So, pretty much everyone I know down here was treating this game like it was the World Series, even though no one down here watched the World Series.

Anyway, my Ohio State friends had a big party here in my building for the game and ordered a shit ton of food.  They ordered four pizzas for seven people, a giant tray of wings, and lots of other goodies.  I held back for awhile, but as Ohio State continued to crumble so did my ability to resist the greatness of Papa John’s.  I woke up on Tuesday feeling tired and bloated, and tried to make up for it the rest of the week.  I ran my ass off and managed to get back on track by the weekend.  And what a weekend it turned out to be.

As I mentioned earlier, I was supposed to have a weekend by myself to watch dumb moves and engage in other lazy pursuits.  Instead, Megan was forced to miss a shower she was looking forward to attending, and I was unable to act like an idiot past Friday nite.  Actually, Saturday nite was the only nite that was affected by the change of plans.  We decided to make it a double feature kind of nite.  We saw the amazing film Children of Men, which I would recommend to everyone, and then we separated to see movies by ourselves.  Megan saw Dreamgirls, and I finally saw the new Bond film which kicked a huge amount of ass.

My Sunday remained the same as planned; It was my first fishing expedition on a boat.   I went out with my buddies Amir and Rob on a really sweet fishing boat for the whole day.  We only caught two fish, but the drinking, cigars and wonderful weather more than made up for it.

My Monday also remained the same, except that my lovely lady was able to join me on the best day I’ve had on the boat yet.  The weather today was absolutely stunning, 80 degrees without a cloud in the sky.  We went out with several friends from work to celebrate the day of Martin Luther King the way he would have wanted, by boating in a city of old white people.

Instead of sounding like an asshole and going on and on about how great a day I had, I will instead point out that anyone discussing my day would probably sound like an asshole.  This seems like a good time to end my rambling and say goodnite.


The Captain

The Captain Is Shoving Off From The Dock

Days Until I am Married:  279

Current Weight:  186 pounds

With a full week into the New Year I can say that everything is looking good thus far.  My first week of getting in shape was a good start.  Losing three pounds in a week is mighty encouraging.  This was accomplished by finally starting to eat healthy, and several long walks.

Living here has made it quite easy to stay active all week long.  Walking on the beach for several miles every couple of days doesn’t really feel like exercise to me.  The walk to the beach is even easier to accomplish.  The distance from my front door to the nearest beach is about three miles.  Walking to the beach and back takes about two hours, and is full of fantastic scenery.  The weather down here also helps out a lot; last week was quite pleasant indeed.

I’ve had a couple of people ask me what my weight goal, and I don’t really have a good response.  I’m not looking to weigh a certain number, or be able to run a mile in a certain amount of time.  Like Kevin Spacey said in American Beauty, all I really want is to look good naked.  The first step will be to get rid of the pony keg known as my tummy.

Besides getting back in shape, my focus has been on boating.  I spent the week purchasing the supplies necessary for my new found boating addiction, such as a compass, binoculars, fishing license, nautical charts, waterproof bags, and of course a new Captain’s hat.

Saturday marked my second full day of boating in the bay, and it was a smashing success.  My cousin Jessica was in town from Philly this weekend to visit the family, so she came down with my Uncle and his girlfriend to enjoy a day on the boat.  They picked the right day to come down.  It was in the 80s all day, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  We spent the day on a 20′ deck boat that was made for speed, and we made good use of it.

I really wanted to show my cousin a good time, and I am glad it worked out so well.  She just enlisted in the Army, and ships out for boot camp at the end of the month.  I figured she could really use some excitement, because her life is going to royally suck for the next two months.

I have mixed feelings about her joining the Army.  I hope it will provide her the direction that she is seeking, and I really hope they do not ship her ass to Iraq.  They told her they would not, but then again she signed a piece of paper that says they can do whatever they want to her.  Regardless of how I feel about the civil war in Iraq, I am going to support her decision.  I plan on writing her letters during basic training so she feels a little less alone.

The other highlight of my weekend was hosting a small get together at our condo on Friday nite to celebrate Megan’s new job.  We invited all of the other “fellows” over, i.e. the people who also recently moved to Sarasota to take the same job as me.  Megan made buffalo chicken chili, which tastes much better than it sounds, and we drank and conversed until late.

Megan begins her new job tomorrow, and that is about as much as I can tell you about her new employment.  All I really know is that she is quite excited, which makes me excited as well.  Hopefully she’ll know more by the end of this week.  And speaking of the end, this seems like a good point to call it a nite.  Well, so long for now and keep on dancing.


The Captain

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