Archive for January 15th, 2007

The Captain Thinks Mother Nature Has Started Smoking Meth

Days Until I Am Married:  272

Current Weight:  185

So yesterday I get a call from my old roommate Bill in St. Louis.  He proceeds to tell me that he is currently sitting in a house in St. Louis with no power in a freezing rain storm.  I tell him that I am currently smoking a stogie while fishing on a boat with my shirt off.  He correctly informs me that I am an asshole.  I’ve been hearing that a lot lately and I kinda like it.

The weather down here has been spectacular, which is starting to feel a bit strange.  As I sit here writing this, the window in the condo is open and I’m sweating.  I should probably turn on the air conditioning, but it’s getting harder and harder to justify air conditioning in January.  Meanwhile, my home town has been assaulted by freezing rain for the last three days.  The weather in St. Louis actually prevented Megan from flying home for the weekend.  Her Saturday morning flight was canceled on Friday nite, which totally ruined my lay around and scratch myself plans for the weekend.  American Airlines was so scared of the storm headed toward the Midwest that they refunded Megan’s ticket money before the storm actually hit.  All in all, I have come to the conclusion that Mother Nature has started smoking meth.

My week started off with a step in the wrong direction.  Last Monday nite was the big BCS championship game.  For the last 27 years, I wouldn’t have given two shits about this college football game.  Growing up in Missouri completely shielded me from the entire concept of college sports.  People from St. Louis prefer their athletes professional.  However, this year I was forced to give at least half of a shit for two reasons.  First, I live in Florida and they take college football pretty serious down here.  Second, most of my friends down here are diehard Ohio State fans.  So, pretty much everyone I know down here was treating this game like it was the World Series, even though no one down here watched the World Series.

Anyway, my Ohio State friends had a big party here in my building for the game and ordered a shit ton of food.  They ordered four pizzas for seven people, a giant tray of wings, and lots of other goodies.  I held back for awhile, but as Ohio State continued to crumble so did my ability to resist the greatness of Papa John’s.  I woke up on Tuesday feeling tired and bloated, and tried to make up for it the rest of the week.  I ran my ass off and managed to get back on track by the weekend.  And what a weekend it turned out to be.

As I mentioned earlier, I was supposed to have a weekend by myself to watch dumb moves and engage in other lazy pursuits.  Instead, Megan was forced to miss a shower she was looking forward to attending, and I was unable to act like an idiot past Friday nite.  Actually, Saturday nite was the only nite that was affected by the change of plans.  We decided to make it a double feature kind of nite.  We saw the amazing film Children of Men, which I would recommend to everyone, and then we separated to see movies by ourselves.  Megan saw Dreamgirls, and I finally saw the new Bond film which kicked a huge amount of ass.

My Sunday remained the same as planned; It was my first fishing expedition on a boat.   I went out with my buddies Amir and Rob on a really sweet fishing boat for the whole day.  We only caught two fish, but the drinking, cigars and wonderful weather more than made up for it.

My Monday also remained the same, except that my lovely lady was able to join me on the best day I’ve had on the boat yet.  The weather today was absolutely stunning, 80 degrees without a cloud in the sky.  We went out with several friends from work to celebrate the day of Martin Luther King the way he would have wanted, by boating in a city of old white people.

Instead of sounding like an asshole and going on and on about how great a day I had, I will instead point out that anyone discussing my day would probably sound like an asshole.  This seems like a good time to end my rambling and say goodnite.


The Captain

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