Archive for June 12th, 2008

The Captain Embraces His Inner Snob

Eight years ago this week I caught a dollar show screening of a film that profoundly changed my life.  That film was High Fidelity.  At the time, the three “music elitists” in the film and the ridiculous discussions/arguments they have hit way too close to home for me.

These same discussions/arguments were the focus of most of my social life in college.  I was equal parts thrilled and horrified how these guys were portrayed in the film.  I spent the next few days reading the book from which the film was based, which only reaffirmed these feelings.  Not wanting to come off as an elitist, I decided to give-up my music snob ways and try to embrace all kinds of music.

This plan completely back-fired.  While I did learn to embrace several new genres of music, mostly I just discovered what artists I didn’t like in any given genre.  Instead of saying “I don’t like classic rock” or “I don’t like county”, I now say “I like said genre, but only these artists.”  Learning more about all kinds of music made me like a majority of it even less.

Eventually, I have learned to identify my music snob ways and learned how to control these impulses.  This has mostly been due to necessity, since this elitist behavior has spilled over to my views on pop culture in general.  I can now appreciate a song, film or television show more on a whole without worrying as much what it says about me as a person.

However, since I know my inner snob has a habit of sneaking out from time to time, I have decided to use my favorite part of High Fidelity as an outlet for these impulses.  I’m adding weekly Top 5 list to my blog to help alleviate my elitist ways.  Hopefully this will allow me to channel my snarkiness online and to be more pleasant in person.  Since I just spent several paragraphs claiming to have great taste, my first Top 5 is intended to showcase that everyone has bad taste now and then.

Top 5 Embarrassing Songs Currently On My Ipod

1.  Send Me An Angel – The Scorpians

Blame this one solely on the movie Rad.  The slo-mo bike dancing scene in the movie set to this song was the most rewound section of any movie I watched as a kid.  I still get chills.  And as an early hint, anyone wondering what to buy me for my 30th birthday should go here.

2.  Lady – Kenny Rogers

The cheesy lyrics combined with the drop-dead serious way The Gamblers sings them make this still a classic in my book.  He’s lovin’ on that microphone so much you can almost hear the microphone scratching against his beard.

3.  I Need A Hero – Bonnie Tyler

I’m still a big fan of the over-the-top synthesizer sound from the early Eighties, and this is about as over-the-top as it gets.  Everything about this song is ridiculous, and yet I find it irresistible.  Plus, it gets bonus points for being the focal point of the big climax scene in Short Circuit 2.

4.  Opposites Attract – Paul Abdul and MC Skat Kat

Not gonna even bother to try and defend this one.  Instead, I will fess up to owning the full length MC Skat Kat tape “The Adventures of MC Skat Kat and the Stray Mob” when I was 12 and move on.

5.  Cry Me A River – Justin Timberlake

Everything about this song is trashy.  The ratting out your ex-girlfriend lyrics, the faux-operatic beginning, the shameless Timbaland plug for himself.  The video even tries to make stalking seem arty.  But damn if I don’t love it.


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