Archive for March, 2011

The Captain Has An Expensive Smile

Last July I had a dull pain in my front teeth, so I went to the dentist.  This was the first time I had been in 2 years.  Since then I have been to the dentist an additional ten times.  I’ve had a tooth pulled, several cavities filled, a bridge and a crown added, and two root canals.  This has cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of three to four thousand dollars, despite having great dental insurance. 

Yesterday was my final dental appointment to have the work finished.  From now on I should be good with just regular cleanings.  So yeah, I guess it’s time to get more serious about dental hygiene.


The Captain

The Captain Is Entering A World Of Pain

I attended my first meeting as a board member of my neighborhood’s home owners association last nite and it was not at all what I expected.  My neighborhood is new construction houses that have just finished selling out, so many of the homeowners have never met.  We arranged for everyone in the neighborhood to meet up at a nearby restaurant for some introductions and socialization.  I thought it would be a light affair for our neighbors to put some names to faces.  And it actually started out pretty lite and social, but quickly took a turn for the worse when Walter Sobchak started talking.

I’m not sure what this gentleman’s real name is, so I decided to refer to him as Walter because he has the exact same angry Vietnam vet persona.  Walter decided that this social meeting was the perfect time to angrily bring up lots of ridiculous topics.  He monopolized most of the meeting with random questions, angry rants and several uses of the phrase “you people.”  He actually announced to everyone that he has PTSD!?! It might sound funny, but it was cringe inducing.

While it was pretty awkward for the 40 or so other people at the meeting, at least I now feel confident that no one will mind when I ignore him in future meetings.  Welcome to the neighborhood!


The Captain

The Captain Goes Back To A Harder Time: MR 2011-6

This week I’m going a little harder than the usual Two For Tuesday.  First up is San Pedro by Mogwai

Mogwai is a band I’ve liked for a number of years.  They were introduced to me by a roommate from college, Brooklyn Scotty.  He’s been talking about these Scots to anyone who would listen for so long that I think he’s now their unofficial American publicist.  And while I’ve been a fan for awhile now, I’ve never put a song by them on Modern Rock.  Their music is usually not very accessible; it comes off as just noise to many listeners.  So I was very surprised to hear their latest album, Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will, actually includes some listener friendly tracks like this one.  Great song and pretty interesting video too.1

This week’s second track is American Trash by Innerpartysystem.

This video has been featured on MTV2’s Subterranean for the past couple of weeks, and I’ve grown to enjoy it.  I had a mental block towards it when I first heard it, as it’s been years since I’ve listened to anything even remotely electronica/industrial.  I’m still not sure if I think this song is good per se, but I do enjoy it and it’s overly snarky video.  What do you think?  As always, hope you enjoy!


The Captain

1.  In fact, for all I know that might actually be Brooklyn Scotty walking in all black.  He was known in college for wearing a similar hat and I could definitely see him demanding to be in this video.

The Captain Takes A Shortcut The Long Way

I’ve had a few people ask me to elaborate on my misfortune from this past weekend, so I’ve elected to do so here at The Quarters. 

Early in the morning on Sunday I was leaving my buddy Captain Mike’s house in Illinois.  As I was driving home on I-255, I missed the exit for I-270.  There was not an exit past the interchange for another five miles, and I was running late for an appointment.  So I decided to save myself a few minutes by driving over the grass median to head back the opposite way on the highway.

In doing so, I overlooked several important facts.  First, it had rained pretty hard overnite.  Second, my crappy little Saturn only has front wheel drive and not much power.  Third, driving over the median is clearly illegal if I was to get caught.  You may be able to guess where this is going…

Yep, I got myself stuck in the mud.  At this point it is five in the morning, still dark and I’m decently far away from civilization.  I felt pretty screwed.  I tried to dislodge my car, but after about 30 minutes minutes I determined that I was probably just digging myself in deeper.  As I was using my iPhone to Google tow truck companies, a benevolent fellow in a pickup stopped behind me.  This saintly gentleman helped me drag my car out of the mud and then went on his way.  I’m really friggin’ lucky that he saved my ass.  So thank to the Good Samaritan in the camo hat driving the blue Toyota pickup with Illinois plates.  Very much appreciated.

Besides missing my early morning appointment, I also paid the price for my foolish decision later that afternoon.  It took over an hour for me to wash out all of the mud that was caked to the bottom of my car.  So in summation, attempting a ten minute shortcut added two extra hours to my Sunday.  Guess I’ll go the long way next time…


The Captain

The Captain Is Ready For April

March is lame.  There, I said it.  The whole month feels like one giant placeholder to me; I’m ready for April on March 1st.

Why the disdain for the third month of the calendar?  Funny you should ask, seeing as it’s the topic of this week’s Friday 5.

Top 5 Reasons I Hate March In St. Louis

1.  The Weather

March weather in St. Louis is not quite as bad as January or February which is what bothers me.  I expect the first two months of the year to be cold and miserable.  Any nice day in February feels like a treat.  March often has a few nice days, like yesterday’s 82° and sunny weather.  But then it goes back to being cold and rainy.  The tease of nice weather is much worse to me than constant cold.  March’s weather just makes me impatient.

2.  March Fucking Madness

Besides baseball, I don’t give too much of a shit about other sports.  I’ll watch pro-football if a team I like is doing well, or hockey if the Blues have a good team.  But I always refuse to watch basketball.  I don’t understand the appeal of a sport where 100-200 points are scored in a game, and where physical size is more important than skill.

Even worse to me is watching college sports; I prefer pro athletes.  As much as I like professional baseball, I struggle to watch minor league ballgames.  So why the hell would I want to watch a rotating team of 19 year olds play a sport at a subpar level?  So naturally, the worst of the worst for me is the NCAA Basketball Tournament.  It baffles me when people won’t shut up about “brackets” and their “Sweet 16” picks.  Take that noise elsewhere.  All I’m thinking about in March is how many more days till Cardinals opening day.  And it’s always too many.

3.  St. Patricks Day

This didn’t bother me much when I was a kid, mostly because people didn’t take it very seriously back in those days.  Now it seems that a great deal too many people think this is a real holiday.  I saw WAY to many decorations all over yesterday and my coworkers were decked out in bright green clothes.  Some even wore shamrock beads and plastic green hats.  Worse, everyone kept making jokes about drinking alcohol when I know that most of them do not drink.

First off, I don’t need a good reason or a special occasion to drink.  And the Irish ESPECIALLY don’t need one.

Second, who gives a shit about the Irish in St. Louis?  This town was founded by French and German settlers, not the Irish.  It’s why we have a big Mardi Gras and Oktoberfest every year.  The Irish and St. Patty’s Day can Erin Go Blow Me.

4.  Lent

March is usually a full month of Lent, which is worthless in my book.  Don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of giving up a vice now and then is a good thing.  But the idea that God wants me to deprive myself to prove I’m down with him is ridiculous.  Even worse is this no meat on Friday nonsense.  No one has ever been able to sufficiently explain to me why the Lord is cool with me eating a dead fish but not a dead chicken.  Besides, fish in St. Louis is terrible.  The idea of eating deep fried frozen fish products in the basement of a church on a Friday nite sounds terrible on so many levels.

5.  The Month After Sweeps

As much as I like to pretend otherwise, I do watch a fair amount of television.  And while February is enjoyable for sweeps month, it produces a large amount of repeats for March.  For example, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and Conan are all on break this week.  This wouldn’t be so bad if the weather was nice and I could enjoy some outdoor activities.  But once again, it’s MARCH.


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