Archive for May 20th, 2011

The Captain Throws Back A Keg Or Two

I’m a Missourian, so therefore I drink a lot of beer.  A LOT.  But in Missouri, it’s not enough to just drink a lot of beer, there is also a need to prove that you can drink more beer than the next guy (or gal).  And for that there are drinking games.  But sometimes even drinking games are not enough to prove that you can drink more beer than your peers.  For that there are drinking competitions.

Drinking competitions involve massive amounts of people and massive amounts of beer.  A drinking completion in its simplest form is the Keg-Off.  This competition consists of two teams of at least ten people spending an afternoon trying to drain their keg first.  To increase the speed of beer consumption, each team is supplied with two beer pitchers and one beer bong.  This tends to be more of a social affair, but still produces clear winners and losers1.

But for those with true grit and a hardened liver, the only true completion is Beer Olympics.  This classic event pits teams of four head to head in a series of timed events to see who can consume the most beer the fastest.  Beer Olympics was THE event of the semester during my college years, and it proved so popular that it carried on after college.  My buddy Rina of Rinawear started the tradition here in St. Louis several years ago.  My sister and I both put together teams back in 2005 to compete, and her team won!  Cathie and I had so much fun that we decided to throw our own Beer Olympics at our house the next year.  That was five years ago today!

So in honor of the fifth anniversary of our Beer Olympics, allow me to take a stroll down a beer soaked memory lane.

There were five guys teams:  The Chugging Chimps

The Guzzling Giraffes

The Urinating Unicorns

The Pig Fuckers

And the Camel Toes

There were also three girls teams:  The Booze Hounds

The Guzzling Gators

And the reigning champs The Dam Beavers.

The Captain did the hosting, and I relied on a few good friends to do the refereeing.

The competition consisted of five events: The Over-Under Pitcher Chug

The Beer Shots Table

The Three-Legged/Piggyback Beer Chug

Beer Calisthenics

And The Baseball Bat Twirl Chug.

Unfortunately, during the last event one of the contestants was so dizzy from spinning around a baseball bat that he ran head first into the corner of our deck and split his head open.

But 13 staples later he was back at the party and crowned MVP.  He received a shirt signed by the whole party, which more than made up for the gaping wound in his head.

The winner of the day were the Urinating Unicorns

And the defending champions, Dam Beavers

My sister and her friends sure can drink.  They did better than a couple of the men’s teams!

Overall, the event was way more work than I imagined and way more fun than I had planned.  Looking back, I’m amazed that there weren’t more injuries and destruction.  You can check out all the pics from 5 years ago over here on my Flickr page.


The Captain

1.  As anyone who has participated in a drinking competition can tell you, losing is brutal.  The losing team is usually just as drunk as the winning team, but now they feel dejected and defeated.  This often leads to stuff getting broken.

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