Archive for July, 2012

The Captain Remembers Why He Gave Up On Wrestling

Last nite I actually sat and watched all three hours and fifteen minutes of WWE Raw’s 1000th episode. The milestone number combined with the live broadcast from St. Louis was enough to peek my interest. I watched my fair share of Raw back during the WWF days of the nineties and I was curious to see what Vince McMahon had up his sleeve. As it turns out, several stale old tricks and a few lame new ones.


To be fair, there were a few enjoyable parts of the broadcast. I was a huge fan of The Rock back when he first started laying the smackdown on candy-asses, and it was pretty cool to see him back in the ring talking trash. I loved all of the goofy montages from old broadcasts, as well as the talking heads reacting to them. Watching the Undertaker and Kane team up against nameless jobbers is always entertaining. And I like the new crazy guy Daniel Bryan, even though his wedding on the broadcast went on WAY to long. But the rest of the show was pretty dull.

The Degeneration X reunion was pretty sad, the parade of old wrestlers who came out to defend Lita was SUPER sad, and the main event was boring. The two superstars grappling for the belt do nothing for me. John Cena reminds me of every musclehead I’ve ever disliked, and CM Punk is so tiresome. Why would I cheer for a dour looking tatted up straight edger? Give me Stone Cold Steve Austin chugging a beer any day.



Mostly the show helped remind me what I used to love about wrestling – the spectacle. The characters back in the WWF years were exactly that, characters. No one wants Terry Bollea; they want Hulk Hogan. Feeling nostalgic about wrestling day of yore, I stayed up late googling my favorite wrestler. And I stumbled upon the greatest series of videos I’ve never seen. Macho Man Randy Savage being interviewed by Arsenio Hall may be the funniest thing ever recorded on television. This clip with the two talking with Morgan Fairchild is my favorite.



This five minute clip was better than the entire broadcast last nite. So from now on when I’m feeling nostalgic about wrestling, I’m heading to YouTube.

The Captain

The Captain Rises Above

So I kinda trailed off last week. I got really busy at work, and when I had some spare time all I wanted to write about was my excitement over the midnite show of The Dark Knight Rises. So I figured it was best to just wait till I saw the film and then gush about it on Friday. Obviously that plan changed rather quickly.
Attending the midnite premiere was an amazing experience. Ever since my Uncle Paul took my sister and I to the midnite show of the original Tim Burton version in 1988, Batman premieres have always been one of my favorite events. This time around I scored IMAX tickets for midnite at the Chesterfield AMC. I could tell right away that I was in for a fun nite. The theater was already packed at ten after eleven. The whole crowd was busy snapping pictures of a group of ten people in character costumes. Batman and Robin were surrounded by a gallery of classic villains, including a very frightening Joker and a hilariously creative Mr. Freeze. I managed to snap a pic with the Penguin.



By the time the film began the crowd was in a frenzy. The cheers were loud and often throughout the film, and for good reason. The Dark Knight Rises is probably the most satisfying ending to a film trilogy ever. The plot was dense but still wildly entertaining, the visuals were as striking as the first two films, and the surprise twists were still surprising. My only disappointment was that the film had to end. I left the theatre exhausted from all of the excitement. I got home around 3:30 am and started to post a picture on Facebook of the free poster I received on the way out of the theater, but I was too tired to finish. That turned out to be a good decision, as you can see.



I woke up around 7:30 to the horrible news. I was shocked, especially because I didn’t hear anything about it before going to bed despite some late nite web surfing. I was only asleep 4 hours when the news broke, and it hit me like a brick. What a terrible tragedy. So senseless.
While these kinds of tragedies are commonplace in America lately, it still rattles me every time. At least this time the media’s response has been more measured than in the past. I’ve seen surprisingly little inappropriate blame on the television since Friday. Mostly just stunned faces professing their sorrow.
I was also glad to see so many people refuse to let some cowardly lunatic prevent them from watching this wonderful film. My buddy @DanFjord even made the 10pm report on NewsChannel 5 for attending the film.

I feel lucky that I attended the midnite premiere so I was able to enjoy the film without thinking about that spineless psychopath out in Colorado. I hope that selfish prick rots in jail for the rest of his life. He wasn’t able to ruin this wonderful film for me, and he’s shouldn’t ruin it for you either. Go see The Dark Knight Rises, as I’m dying to talk about it without any fear of spoilers!

The Captain

The Captain Is Ready For Rock City

If you celebrate X-Mas in a trailer, then ho-ho-ho! The 2012 infomercial for The Gathering Of The Juggalos is here, and it’s as unintentionally funny as ever.  I love you Sugar Slam!

The Captain

The Captain Recognizes A Needed Addition

Today begins the second half of the baseball season, and the Cardinals are right where they were last season. They have the same record, 46-40, as they did at the start of the second half of 2011. And they have the same problem as they did last year: inconsistent starting pitching and a frustrating bullpen that are dragging down a powerful offense. Last year they were able to make a few key additions before the trade deadline that turn an above average team into a champion. I’m hoping Cardinals management makes a similar move before the trade deadline this year. Allow me to demonstrate the importance of the key addition.

Earlier this year I received a replica 2011 championship trophy as giveaway at the stadium. It was a decent door prize but a bit underwhelming.



It felt like something was missing, but I wasn’t quite sure what.  After a couple of months I noticed that the hole in the middle of the replica trophy looked familiar. It seemed to be a specific size – beer sized. Thinking that this probably wasn’t a coincidence, I grabbed my 2011 championship edition Budweiser aluminum bottle



And put it in the hole. And then, MAGIC.



It fit perfectly. And the result of two combined was much better than both separate. A key addition made for a champion. This is what the Cardinals needed last year, and it’s what they need this year. So come on John Mozeliak, make it happen. Let’s build another champion!


The Captain

The Captain Is Ready To Rise In A Week

I’ve got a one way ticket to Gotham City one week from now. I managed to score a couple of tickets to see the midnite screening of The Dark Knight Rises in the IMAX Theater at Chesterfield Mall! My projectionist buddy Grellner informed me the film is three hours long, so I’m ready to pull an all niter. From the looks of this behind the scenes featurette, it looks like I’ll be in for a hell of a ride!


The Captain

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