Archive for July 24th, 2012

The Captain Remembers Why He Gave Up On Wrestling

Last nite I actually sat and watched all three hours and fifteen minutes of WWE Raw’s 1000th episode. The milestone number combined with the live broadcast from St. Louis was enough to peek my interest. I watched my fair share of Raw back during the WWF days of the nineties and I was curious to see what Vince McMahon had up his sleeve. As it turns out, several stale old tricks and a few lame new ones.


To be fair, there were a few enjoyable parts of the broadcast. I was a huge fan of The Rock back when he first started laying the smackdown on candy-asses, and it was pretty cool to see him back in the ring talking trash. I loved all of the goofy montages from old broadcasts, as well as the talking heads reacting to them. Watching the Undertaker and Kane team up against nameless jobbers is always entertaining. And I like the new crazy guy Daniel Bryan, even though his wedding on the broadcast went on WAY to long. But the rest of the show was pretty dull.

The Degeneration X reunion was pretty sad, the parade of old wrestlers who came out to defend Lita was SUPER sad, and the main event was boring. The two superstars grappling for the belt do nothing for me. John Cena reminds me of every musclehead I’ve ever disliked, and CM Punk is so tiresome. Why would I cheer for a dour looking tatted up straight edger? Give me Stone Cold Steve Austin chugging a beer any day.



Mostly the show helped remind me what I used to love about wrestling – the spectacle. The characters back in the WWF years were exactly that, characters. No one wants Terry Bollea; they want Hulk Hogan. Feeling nostalgic about wrestling day of yore, I stayed up late googling my favorite wrestler. And I stumbled upon the greatest series of videos I’ve never seen. Macho Man Randy Savage being interviewed by Arsenio Hall may be the funniest thing ever recorded on television. This clip with the two talking with Morgan Fairchild is my favorite.



This five minute clip was better than the entire broadcast last nite. So from now on when I’m feeling nostalgic about wrestling, I’m heading to YouTube.

The Captain

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