Archive for August 5th, 2013

The Captains Flood Has Receded

“The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow.” – Charles M. Schulz

 

There is something about water that always brings me back.  After an almost two month break from Captains Quarters, water has once again brought me back home.  Until recently I haven’t felt the desire to write.  I was beginning to wonder if the past several weeks of inactivity would lead to more months of idleness.  And then I saw a news story on the 20th anniversary of the Great Flood of ’93 and wave of inspiration washed over me.

My first thought was a visceral one about actually witnessing the flood twenty years ago.  That summer was a big turning point for this 14 year old.  Remembering that summer twenty years ago made me want to write about something for the first time in almost two months.   It also reminded me of the rising flood waters from back when I took a long break a few years ago.

There is something about water that always brings me back to writing.  Before last week I had been too flooded with emotions to write anything.  It’s been over two months since the tragic death of my cousin and I am just now feeling like I am ready to start writing again.

I tried to deal directly with the emotions I felt after my cousin’s tragic death.  The last thing I wrote back in June really helped me to process the overflow of emotions I was feeling.  But in some ways writing about my feelings did TOO good of a job.  My therapist said it best: I was able address the intellectual side of my feelings but not emotional side.

I’m normally pretty good about dealing with overwhelming feelings head on and finding closure quickly.  But a tragedy like this had as big as of an impact as I’ve ever felt.  I tried to go through all the emotions at once, but it was much too big to deal with in one sitting.

After I worked out my feelings on paper, I tried to put it out of my mind.  I was determined to enjoy myself when visiting family and friends on my East Coast Trip in June.  Losing a loved one really reinforced the importance of enjoying those around me when you can.  I need to appreciate my loved ones.

After two months I still think about my cousin everyday.  But I’m finally able to move past those thoughts and onto other things in my life.  The flood waters have rescinded and I’m ready to focus on what’s truly important around me.

I’m going to miss Chrissy for rest of my days, but that shouldn’t hold me back from living my life.  Chrissy was always supportive of me, and I would like to think I continue to receive her support.  She went out of her way to tell me how proud she was at my RFT nomination back in 2011.  And wherever she is now, I’m sure she wants to keep reading.  So I’m going to keep writing.

And to those reading this now I would like to say thanks for sticking with me.  It’s good to feel supported when the water is rising, and even better when the flood finally recedes.

 

 

Ciao,

The Captain

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