Archive for September 16th, 2013

The Captain Doesn’t Take Threats Idly

Yesterday at my neighborhood’s block party a board member from my homeowners association threatened me with some bullshit.  I walked away from him and tried to cool off, but it’s been 24 hours since and I’m still angry.    Before I talk about the many ways in which he was wrong, first some background.

There is a water pipe in buried in front of our house that has a slow leak. Water from the leak has been filtering down underneath our foundation and causing our basement pump to run since we moved into our house.  At first it was just annoying, but over the last 6 months it has become a big problem.  I’ve been trying for years to get the problem fixed to no avail.  The water company refuses to fix the pipe, even though they own the pipe.  They keep telling me that the leak is not their fault, when it clearly is their fault.  With the leak has getting worse over the past 6 months we now have a large amount of standing water in our backyard due to our sump pump constantly running.

Enter the homeowners association board member who lives down the street from me.  I’ll call him Nosey Old Asshole for short.  NOA apparently has nothing to do with his time so he is super concerned with my problem.  And for some reason he thinks that I’m not doing enough to fix this problem.  Because apparently I love the fact that my backyard currently resembles a swamp.  He’s called me twice to tell me to do something about the problem, and both times I explained the situation and told him that stonewalling from the water company was the problem.

This brings us to yesterday’s block party.  NOA asks me again about my water problem.  Again, I say that I’m having trouble with the water company and that I’m researching a few new ideas to get them to fix the problem.  NOA listens to my story, and then completely ignores it by telling me I have to do something to fix it.  In frustration, I ask him what he suggests I should do to remedy the situation.  NOA then tells me that I should hire a contractor and pay to fix the water company’s pipe.   I replied that I’m not paying to fix someone else’s property, especially when I’m not allowed to do so legally.  NOA then tries to threaten me with saying that he plans to call a contractor on his own to fix the problem and send me a bill for the cost.  I asked if that was a threat and he didn’t respond.  And that’s when I got angry.

First off, why in the world would I want to pay $500-1000 dollars to fix a pipe that doesn’t belong to me.  Secondly, no one is allowed to work on the water company’s piping except them.  Third, how about offering to help instead of lobbing threats at me?

I wanted to rip him a new asshole, but instead I told him good luck with trying to send me a bill and then got up and left.  I was determined not to lose my cool, and I’m glad I didn’t.  But I have had enough.  I know NOA is just a nosey old asshole, but next time he tries to threaten me with some nonsense I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.  NOA thinks being a board member makes him king of the neighborhood but he’s sure as shit not the boss of me. I’m done being polite.  The gloves are off, the wisdom teeth are out.  Bring it on, Gramps.




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