This past weekend someone stole our doormat. While this wasn’t exactly the end of the world, it did piss me off something fierce. With no real recourse, I decided to write a sternly worded letter and post it on our building’s list-server. I thought I should repost it here for your reading pleasure. So, all you fans of passive-aggressive bitching, enjoy!
To Whomever Stole The Doormat In Front Of 706 Last Nite,
Seriously? Why would someone steal our doormat?
Now granted, we’ve had to put up with a lot of crap living in this building before. From surprise power outages, to the frequent blaring music from the nearby clubs, the hallways occasionally reeking of marijuana smoke, and the mailman with no sense of time or consistency. None of it felt personal, not even when someone broke into my car to steal 3 quarters.
But stealing my doormat, that feels personal. It means that an outsider snuck into the building and went doormat shopping, or worse, someone in the building went doormat shopping at their leisure. So either the building’s security is lacking or the people living inside the building are lacking. That sucks. Big time.
We are moving out in less than three weeks, and I was determined to focus on the positives of this building during the moving process. But this is going to make it very difficult for me to retain any sort of nostalgia for 2020.
So, to whomever stole the doormat in front of 706 last nite, you were the official last straw.
Burn! Take that nameless ruffians!